Third University Customer Charter
This customer charter sets out the standards of service you can expect from Third University, and how you may contact it. However, please note that Third University is only an idea. It cannot solve you on its own. Third University is committed to #coffeelols.
Before you contact Third University, please consider the following questions.
1. Are you really a customer? Is that your badge?
2. What are you paying for? Why do you want to pay for education anyway?
3. Why are you outsourcing your perceived need for satisfaction?
NOTE: If you consume something at Third University, you must produce something too. Consumption and production, always in a process of exchange, please. Always.
Third University’s Commitments to You
People are human beings, produced by and within the society in which they live. I/you/we/they encourage people by seeing good in them. [If it’s good enough for Nelson Mandela, it’s good enough for me/you/us/them.] You are Third University. What commitments do you make to nurture yourself? What commitments do you make to nurture others?
Consume these words and produce something alternative/different/new
Equality; tolerance; respect; generosity; courage; forgiveness; fidelity.
Third Universityis committed to helping I/you/we/they to produce the idea of us. We wonder if the idea of us should have rules and such…
#1 – The first rule of Third University is, you do not talk about Third University.
#2 – The second rule of Third University is, you DO NOT talk about Third University.
#3 – If some participant says stop, goes limp, taps out, the thing is over.
#4 – At least two participants to a thing.
#5 – One thing at a time.
#6 – No shirts, no shoes. If you like.
#7 – Things will go on as long as they have to.
#8 – If this is your first night at some thing, you have to participate.
Information about Third University
Does not compute.
I/we/you/they welcome and encourage customer/producer feedback. However, please remember that I/you/we/they are responsible for Third University.
The Third University’s Student Complaints Procedure might be available here. You could always give it a go.